Four Color Wedges, or How Removing Something Makes Things Bigger

Recently, I read a post on MaRo's Tumblr regarding the lack of a four-color wedge set in Magic. I don't remember exactly what it said, but whatever it was, I took it as a challenge.

Right then, I did some research and work, parsing the color wheel and coming up with five reasonable tribes for the five four-color wedges (sans names and only a sketchy backstory).

I started by looking at the main qualities each color represents, then thought about what would happen to the other four colors if that color were no longer there to balance them. I then came up with a possible tribal idea that incorporates the qualities of those four colors, but more to the point the absence of the fifth. Finally, I came up with an ability that fits each tribe (except for one, but you'll see that one).

Here is, word-for-word, copied and pasted from my notes at the time an overview of the five wedge tribes, submitted for your approval:

Without white (Trust, Order)

• U - Advancement without Trust, reason without order - Intelligent / Mechanical
• G - Instinct without Order, Reliance without Trust - Opportunistic / Disloyal
• B - Selfishness - Survivalist / Self-important
• R - Spontaneity - Inventive / Unfiltered

Developers of artifice, as quick to break an alliance as to make one. Innovation above all, and for its own sake.  Artifact-based wedge

Wedge ability: Mechanize - Similar to Unleash - can choose to ETB with a +1/+1 counter and as an artifact creature

Without blue (Advancement, Reason)

• W - Order without Reason, Trust without Advancement - Unshakable / Dogmatic
• B - Selfishness without Advancement, Paranoia without Reason - Protective / Self-righteous
• R - Emotion - Zealous / Radical
• G - Instinct - Confident / Ignorant of consequence

True believers in a long-dead deity. The only truth to them is their god's truth, and they seek to spread that truth to everyone, for to do otherwise will doom the world to a fiery death.

Wedge ability: Martyr (ability word) - Creatures with martyr have either a discard ability to counter spell types or a sac ability to destroy permanent types, or both. (triggered on cast or ETB)

Without black (Selfishness, Paranoia)

• U - Advancement without Selfishness, Reason without paranoia - Altruistic / Ascetic
• R - Spontaniety without selfishness, Emotion without paranoia - Empathic / Overprotective
• W - Trust - Outgoing / Naive
• G - Reliance - Cooperative / Selfless

A peaceful, altruistic people whose kindness is all-too-often mistaken for weakness. They genuinely want what's best for people.

Wedge ability: Utopia - Listed as Utopia X, where X is a number. When you control creatures with total Utopia X (tbd [ed note: I think 20 might be appropriate -JP]), you win the game.

Without Red (Spontaniety, Emotion)

• B - Selfishness without Emotion, Paranoia without Chaos - Scheming / Antipathic
• G - Instinct without Spontaniety, Reliance without Emotion - Conniving / Cold
• W - Order - Disciplined / Infliexible
• U - Reason - Calculating / Machivellian

An organized, decentralized cabal of spies, infintrators, and assassins, seeking to impose their version of order on the world.

Wedge ability: Fluidform <mana> (Transfigure from FS{Future Sight}, expanded to include non-creature permanents)

Without Green (Instinct, Reliance)

• R - Spontaniety without Instinct, Emotion without Reliance - Impulsive / Reckless
• W - Order without Instinct, Trust without Reliance - Libertarian / Hierarchic
• U - Advancement - Self-betterment / Sociopathic
• B - Paranoia - Self-sufficient / Jealous

A loose-knit cabal of self-sufficient scavengers who individually seek to better themselves and dominate both their peers and the world at any cost - to anyone but themselves.

Wedge ability: None: all creatures are vanilla, but pushed. All wedge-based spells affect creatures with no abilities. (re: Muraganda Petroglyphs)

Regarding the no-Green tribe, any enchantments/spells that affect them do not have them gain abilities. For example, an enchantment that would say "Enchanted creature has flying" would instead read "Enchanted creature can block as though it had reach, and can't be blocked except by creatures with flying or reach". Wordy? Yes, but flavorful? You bet!

Anyway, that's my take, and my first update of this blog in several years.

Until next time, remember that you have the power to shape your own reality. Make it a good one.

I have no words (Devil Survivor: Overclocked) (*SPOILERS*)

There comes a time in one's life as a gamer - table-top, console, PC, what have you - when they see a circumstance unfold that is so unbelievably ridiculous that words fail.

And then, there are times when they see something so complex, convoluted, and needlessly complex - upward of Rube Goldberg-level fuckery - that their mind just wraps itself into a Möbius strip trying to figure out why someone would go to so much effort for so little gain.

And then... you have Devil Survivor.

Not the game as a whole, mind you. It's a bit far-fetched, but most of its metaphysics and mythoi are explained with enough detail and enthusiasm to spur suspension of disbelief.

But there is one aspect of the game that takes the above two concepts, twists them into an unrecognizable clump, dips said clump in Flubber, puts it into a pitching machine, and launches it full-force at its own head.

If you have not played DS: Overclocked, and would like to be surprised, read no further, because there are HUGE plot spoilers below the break.

NaNoWriMo 1 - Me 0 - It's off.

As much as it pains me to do so, I'm quitting NaNo.

I gave it a go.  I really did.  I got myself almost halfway to 50000.

But a good portion of that was forced, and, well... I just couldn't get into the story.

I'm not giving up on the story.  It's a good idea - one that I've been kicking around for years now - but I just couldn't project myself into the story like I could with the last NaNo or the Darian Hunter Files.  I could see myself in those roles and seeing the events occur around me, and I wrote what I saw.

I just... couldn't do that here.  And the pressure I'm feeling about forcing myself to "get 'er done" is making me feel less creative, rather than more.

So it's done for this year.  Stick a fork in it.  I'm not disappointed in my failure, but relieved of the pressure of forcing something that wasn't there.

Its time will come.  Believe me.  But not now.

In the meantime, I feel like I re-opened some creative avenues, and will be working on other things.

To give you an idea. I spent the day watching the first video reviews of my favorite internet reviewers: Todd in the Shadows, the Cinema Snob, and Linkara.  For inspiration.

Coming soon to Cover 2 Cover (I hope): "Calling All Stations"

Appeal for help with my writing. Please?

I'm experiencing some massive writer's block in my story, and it's mostly centered around one of my characters.

Whenever I try to write for him, my mind locks up like a freakin' steel trap.

For background, here are the four primary protagonists with some notes about their traits and personalities:

Selena: psychologist, clinical, analytical, rationalizes everything - even the weird, uncomfortable with praise

Christopher: paramedic, open-minded, knowledge-seeking, caring, never satisfied with any answer

(As a side note, I'm realizing these two are almost polar opposites of each other.  Anyway, moving on...)

Leeann: Professional thief. Cynical, cold, mistrusts everyone, doesn't open herself to anyone, even those she cares about. Feels like nobody can understand. Struggling to hold on to the happy moments, even if it means alienating everyone around her

Taylor: Pastor, denies his past, has allowed his devotion to God to be his purpose, even though it was not originally his choice, tries to win the praise of his overbearing father, answers self-doubt by burying himself deeper into his work

These four met as children and (without spoiling too much), they are reunited as adults to confront something from their mutual past.

Given that it's me doing this, you can guess that this "something" is nothing ordinary.

Anyway, in typing this just now, I can see Selena and Christopher seem to be a tad underdeveloped, Leeann is very easy to write for, and - this is the issue - Taylor is almost impossible for me to get into.

I think it's the religious thing.  I had some very poor experiences with religion growing up and, thankfully, I've moved beyond them.  But my mind slams shut every time I try to write for him.

If anyone has any suggestions, or any hints on something I may be missing, please let me know.  I want to win this year, and will accept any help you can give me, my little Empire.

NaNoWriMo 2011 - It's ON!

Day 1: Decided to go with introducing the main four characters, one at a time, while interlacing it with a flashback to their last meeting as kids.  I think this will work.  And I'm pretty sure I'm going to piss off some Christians.  Win-win!  Word count: 1815

Day 2: I'm getting the things down, and will probably go back and expand two of the sections when I get close to 50k, like I did in '09.  I'm thinking this will be book 1 of a trilogy, but I haven't thought of a title for the first book yet, but (mild spoiler) the series will be called Syrrennia.  I'm liking where this is going so far.  Word count: 3412

Day 3: I got pretty tired around 9:30.  I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to write today,  Glad I was able to do so.  Got a little more backstory on one of the characters than I anticipated, and am well into my first climax. This story I think will be pretty nice.  Word count: 5369

Day 4: Not much done today as I went to Pentacon and ran a game of Nuclear War.  Had a blast, but got a little work in.  I'm getting to the first real narrative hook of the story.  Word Count: 6407

Day 5: I knew this weekend was going to be a slow one.  I'll make up for it this week.  I also came up with a really cool plot twist, but it likely won't be seen until Book 2.  I need to figure out how to slip hints into the narrative, but I can do that during the cleanup phase near the end.  Word count: 7866

Day 6: I'm starting to think that one person is dominating the story.  I need to expand on the other three a bit more.  I'm also not getting a lot of word-work done.  Need to play catch-up this week.  Word count: 8660

Day 8: Day 7 was skipped due to a massive headache.  Day 8 is nearly skipped due to massive writer's block.  8 days in. FML Word count: 9364

Day 11: I've been kinda slacking.  I have no idea how to proceed from here; I've been expanding the backstories up to this point.  I actually need to have a plot instead of just a cool idea.  Once I get there, the words will just flow.[/self-delusion] Word count: 12300

Day 12/13 Part 1 - Bad news: Day 12 word count: 12817.  Good news: one hour into day 13: Word Count 14251.  I think I have a good direction in this.  Problem is going to be getting it all down and keeping it interesting.  Instead of a trilogy, it may just be a single book in three parts.  Once I reach 50K, I may not even remotely be finished.  I have the general plot outline started, involving many twists and turns.  I just hope I can play catch-up on the weekends and my days off.  Oh, well.  I fell behind last time and still finished with days to spare.  I may be a bit closer to the deadline this time, but if I hammer it down, I should make it okay.

I think I just need to write the parts of the story as they come to me, like I normally do instead of trying to write it in sequence.  Connect them afterward.  Thing is, I just need to do it.

It's back on, everyone.  Here goes.

Day 13 Part 2: Word count 15521.  I went ahead and wrote out the plot twist.  It was pretty cool.  I'm going to sit down and plot out the... um, plot, so I can have an idea where I'm going with this.

I want to win this year.  I think Thanksgiving is where I get this down, just like last time.

Day 14: Word count: 17050.  Now I know I'm going to hit 50000 and not have a whole story.  But finish it, I will, even after NaNo, even if I don't win this year.

Watch this space for daily updates!

Puss In Boots: A Review

Before I go into the review, I want to tell you something about myself.  It is very difficult to get me to sit in one place for any length of time.  As such, I never went to many movies (much to the frustration of my now-ex-wife) (Hi, Becka!).  Even the movies I went to I sometimes had to leave if it wasn't holding my attention enough, or if I couldn't talk my way through it (riffing and whatnot).

That has somehow changed as of late: In the past year or so, I actually made a point of seeing three movies in theaters:

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
the new Winnie the Pooh
and, now, Puss In Boots

The latter two were at the suggestions of my kids, Baby and Ben.  (Not biological children, of course, but if you've been following me for any length of time, you'd already know that)  It was actually during the previews of Winnie the Pooh that I saw the trailer for Puss.

At that point, it was pretty much unanimous: we HAD to see this movie.

So, because Baby and Ben are pretty much in charge this weekend, we went and saw it on opening weekend.

Best.  Idea.  EVER!

First thing I'll get out of the way are the previews, most of which I had no interest in, except for comedy.

Happy Feet 2: Flying penguins and melting polar ice caps being shoved in our face.  Um, no.

Hugo: I... have no idea what to say about this movie.  The trailer tells me nothing about the movie except it's about a boy and his mechanical doll and a girl with its key, and a police constable determined to get him despite his only "crime" being not having parents.  Even the constable's dog seemed to be embarrassed to be in the trailer.  I'm not a big fan of trailers that give everything away, but neither am I fan of trailers that tell you NOTHING ABOUT THE MOVIE.  I have no compelling reason to see it, and that's not the reaction to a movie trailer should be.

But I digress...

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked: Even Baby thought this was going to be stupid.  And he's very forgiving of little kid things.  Pass like Aaron Rodgers.

The Muppets: As much as I like metahumor, all the trailers I've seen indicate that this movie seems to be entirely centered around meta, and I think that's going to be what kills this movie.  It is possible to OD on both nostalgia and meta, and I think this movie, despite the slick ad campaigns, will die from it.

The Adventures of TinTin: Two words: Uncanny Valley.  This is an entirely animated movie made up of almost-too realistic human characters.  There is really no reason this couldn't have been made with live people, even with a CGI set (See also: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow).  It's not quite as detailed as Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, but getting closer.  And I think that will turn some people off.  The story looks interesting, but... eh...

Okay, with that out of the way, Let's get to the movie proper.

To start with, let me say that I have not seen any of the Shrek movies, nor do I have any intention of doing so.  So some of the ideas presented here may in fact be a function of its predecessors.  I'm going by this movie on its own merits without comparison to any of the Shrek movies.

I won't give away any plot details, or, at least, I'll try not to, but here goes:

Puss, again voiced by Antonio Banderas to great effect, is looking for his next big score, when he's told about how the infamous outlaws Jack and Jill (Voiced by Billy Bob Thornton and Amy Sedarkis, respectively) came upon some magic beans which, as you've probably guessed, lead to a giant's castle in the clouds and a goose that lays golden eggs.  (The scene with this bit of exposition sets the tone for the sense of humor in this movie)

It seems that Puss has been looking for these magic beans for years, so he follows this lead, only to be thwarted by the movie's love interest/foil Kitty Softpaws, voiced by Salma Hayek.  The two play off of each other perfectly and have great chemistry together.

After a very well-done chase scene, Puss discovers that Kitty is working with an old frenemy of Puss's, Humpty Dumpty, voiced by Zach Galifianakis.  Apparently, the two of them started out as friends in the same orphanage, seeking the same magic beans that started this whole thing, but had a falling out when Puss saved the Commandante's mother from a bull released by Humpty's careless actions.

Puss became a hero and stand-up guy, while Humpty took a lower road.  In the end, after tricking Puss into helping him commit a very heinous crime, Puss is branded an outlaw and leaves Humpty to the mercy of the town.

After some convincing, the three of them work together to steal the beans from Jack and Jill, go up to the Giant's castle, and steal the golden goose (mainly because the eggs were too heavy to steal).

That's as far as I'll go into the plot due to spoilers, but the plot twists - some obvious, some not so - are well-written and feel genuine rather than forced to create a happy ending.

I will warn you, that there are a few moments that are blatantly put in for the adults, but blended in well enough for the kids not to notice.  Well, except for the scene where Jack straight-up shoots a guy just to get his hotel room.  That might have been a tad over-the-top.

All in all, though, it was well-animated, well-written, and well-voiced.  Having all three in one animated movie is rare these days, where you're lucky to get one, let alone two, of these things.

The characters are deep and believable.  Through flashback and interaction we can tell these are more than just storybook characters with slapped-on backstories.  They are full, rich, and genuine.  Puss steals the show - I know he's the title character; that's how amazing a job was done on him - Kitty was more than just a backdrop female, Humpty was well-done, Jack and Jill, although their roles were relatively short-lived, were able to present both their gruff exterior and a hint at a softer side (talk about a role reversal...), and the supporting cast were all well-placed and added to the story without distracting.

The animation was top-notch all the way.  It made you believe that a world where humans interacted with anthropomorphic cats and walking eggs was plausible.  The action scenes flowed beautifully and drew you in without going over the top with the BOOMAMAZINGGRAPHICS type of CGI that takes you out of the story.

As stated, the voice acting was well-done, the actors had amazing chemistry, and were intense without being over the top.

...and that's why I think this movie is great: it's a ridiculous idea: storybook characters living "real" lives, intermingling the human world with the fairy-tale world seamlessly.  This could have been an idea that was played for laughs and a wink and a nod.  This movie made this combination seem not only possible, but believable.  It took itself seriously, but not too seriously.  And that's why it works.

Highly-recommended.  Go see it when you can.

As a side note: I did not see it in 3D, because I wear glasses, and the glasses-on-top-of-glasses look is not, and has never been, in.

I hope you enjoyed reading this.  See you on the next page!

NaNo 2011 - a minor update

I've decided the story that I'm going to write for NaNo this year.

It's a story I've been tossing around for a while, but it isn't any of the ideas I presented previously.

I'll fill everyone in 11/1 when I start my daily NaNo blog right here!

NaNoWriMo 2011

November is almost upon us, and with it comes National Novel Writing Month! (NaNoWriMo)

I completed it two years ago, but skipped last yer because... well, not much, just my life was falling apart. (See my blog The Power Trip for more info)

But I really want to try again this year, now that things have settled down.  I have an idea for a story.  It's dark, twisted, and pokes at those with Christian leanings.

...a lot like the story I wrote in 2009.

Here it is, for those of you who want to read it, all formatted into .pdf goodness for your downloading pleasure.

It's still very rough because I hadn't intended on refining it or publishing it or anything, and it's probably hacktastic crap.  But, for those of you who want to see, here you go.  Enjoy!

NaNoWriMo 2009 - The Last Seal

Humanity, Intuition, and Darkness: Endgame

I'm writing Endgame now. I'm not sure if this should be added as part of Darkness like the previous two intermissions were part of Humanity and Intuition, but I'll just have it as its own thing until I decide further.

There are a couple things (minor spoilers, but nothing too revealing) that I should address:

1) Endgame is shaping out to be a lot of exposition (read: "talking")

2) It covers some of of the backstory to the Defenders of the Heart saga as it pertains to how the Family came to be. It's covered in previous chapters to some degree (you know, the chapters I haven't written yet... ._.) but this is the apex of the metaplot. As such...

3) It will have repercussions on the canon story of Haruhi Suzumiya. Hell, the metaplot has already stolen Kagami Hiiragi from her spot on Lucky Star (and turned her into a Jedi), so expect something along that level.

I hope that it is entertaining to read, but I'm worried that the Wall of Exposition may turn some people off. *sigh* That's how the story goes, so that's how it'll be presented.

Enjoy.

The Darkness is... HUGE!!! (shoot a magic missile into it!)

NWell, despite my better judgment, I pencilled out the plot to The Darkness of Yuki Nagato. I know, I should have waited until I'm ready to commit, but I needed to know what I was up against.

The good news is there were no game-altering plot holes like the one previously mentioned.

The bad news? IT'S FREAKING HUUUUGE!

The worse news? (Mild spoiler)

It all takes place in ONE NIGHT!

Action-packed, character-driven, canon-destroying POWERHOUSE EXCITEMENT!!!!! I can't wait!

Well, I can, actually… I have a couple things to finish first, but after that, I think I'm ready to dive in.

You with me? Let me know!

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I hate it when this happens (Mild Spoilers)

Okay, so I'm going over my Lucky Star crossover 5-logy, "The Marriage of Shi'adow" and came to the realization that book 3: Re-Iteration has to be completely reconceived because of a problem the central plot:

He's stuck in a time loop...


…and because of ANOTHER fucking time loop, I can't have him cross planes.

Once again, Endless Eight ruins someone's day.

So, yeah, just a rant post this time.

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Impressions on The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya (SPOILERS)

I received one-half of Darian's Christmas present the other day: my own, personal copy of "The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya".

In preparation for my scathing review of my own work directly based in it (see my other blog post, my Tumblr account, or my deviantART page for details), I decided to give it a re-read.

That, and I thought it was amazing when I read it originally via Baka-Tsuki.

Now, having torn through it in a span of several hours, I am going to devote this space to my impressions of Disappearance, both on its face and through the eyes of the Darian Hunter Files and its continuity.

First off, the second reading was every bit as enjoyable as the first. The "talking without quotes" style is still hard to interpret as to when Kyon is talking or when he's expositing, but I worked my way through. The story was still stellar and the contrasts between the alt-characters, as well as the similarities, are written very well.

The next thing I noticed is that I completely forgot about Human-Nagto inviting Kyon back to her place. (cue bad 70's porn music) I'll get back to this in the next section.

Also, I got the date wrong. Nagato does her business on Dec 18, not Dec 17. That'll teach me to rely on Wikipedia…

Finally, there were some marked differences between the Baka-Tsuki version and the official translation: the first was his noticing Yuki's emotions was at the end in the Baka-Tsuki version, but in the official version, he noted it just before he shot her with the Plot Device. Also, his speech to the Overmind at the end was a bit different. I'm not sure I like the official version being more of a snide, cocky retort. The Baka-Tsuki version I recall being more of an angry, defiant gesture, more a warning than a middle-finger, which is what the official version felt like.

To me; YMMV.

Now, my impressions of Disappearance as it pertains to the story told in Arrogance and Visions:

First, my idea about why Nagato altered the time plane to begin with was pretty much spot-on. Kyon attributing it to emotions and wanting to live in a "normal world" were based on incomplete information. It was semi-accurate, but not completely.

I mean, how she acted around him, still giving him the application even though he pushed her against a wall and basically browbeat her. The fact she invited her to his apartment having only met him once before in the altered history.

The factors Darian pointed out: Suzumiya's no-show, Mikuru's forgetting (and subsequent decking) of him, and Yuki's being more human were all on display as well, just as I remembered them - except Mikuru was still shy and waifish. But, still, the Mikuru we know would never deck anyone, so that alone makes her a badass in my book, at least.

Next, the escape program: in the interpretation of events I have set forth, it is likely that Yuki(true) set that up to allow Kyon a choice. She would never force him to be with her. But she wanted him to look at what she was offering him: no aggravating Suzumiya, no exploiting Mikuru, no SOS Brigade to consume his life…

…and her, exactly as, she believed, he wanted her to be. She hoped that by seeing her as she made herself to be, he would choose her over his previous life.

He didn't.

Plus, I was also unaware that Nagato removed Suzumiya's ability to manipulate reality. I assume she used enough PE(Possibility Energy) from the Heart to make the necessary alterations, then drained the rest somewhere. Perhaps into Asakura; that would make sense if she resurrected her to be her guardian.

Of course, she couldn't destroy the Device at all, even WITH the power of the Heart, so all she could do was drain it, meaning that the Device was intact, but inert, leaving the Device-Suzumiya's pathology intact.

So, yeah, a re-read of Disappearance was eye-opening, but even going mostly by memory, I seem to have nailed the backstory pretty well.

Now, I think I'm ready to tackle my story from a more cynical standpoint.

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West End Games finally pulls the plug

This is old news, I know, but due to my personal inactivity, I was unaware of the final nail being driven into West End Games' already caulked, sealed, and buried five-and-a-half feet under coffin:

http://www.geeknative.com/6969/west-end-games-finally-closes-torg-to-be-sold/

None of the other crap about Septimus, D6, or any other of West End's line is as important to me as TORG, of course, which was sold to a German company, Ulisses Spiele (http://www.ulisses-spiele.de/ - It's in German, so a translator may do you well), which as of now has no mention of TORG anywhere. To me, this means a solemn goodbye to my second favorite game setting.

Will this stop me from my quest to revive my own TORG campaign? Hells, no! It will be sad to see no official second edition or re-release of the main line, but whatcha gonna do?

Oh, my favorite setting? Earthdawn.

Welcome to Malleable Reality

(Before we start, I want it to be known that I came up with this name having never heard the Jason Mraz song. It actually came from a Mage: the Ascension fiction I wrote many, many years ago.

Now that that's out of the way...)

Welcome to Malleable Reality!

This blog and its associated podcast are dedicated to and produced for those who like to change the reality they associate with by reading, writing, or storytelling a new one over the top of it. Readers, writers, and game masters alike will find something worthwhile here.

I will link articles that catch my eye about fiction, writing, and role playing here and, of course, will offer my several cents' worth on them. I will also post my own personal adventures in writing, be it my fiction or my attempts to restart my flagging roleplaying game life. Chief among these, for now, is my attempt to resurrect TORG and converting it to the Savage Worlds rules. I will post my successes and failures in such here, along with the insights I come up with during this journey.

I'll try not to bore you too much with my failed attempts at novel writing, mainly because that's on the back burner for the time being. But replacing it will be...

[trumpet fanfare]THE MALLEABLE REALITY PODCAAAAAAST!!!!![/trumpet fanfare]

Yes, I will be doing a podcast! Will it be regular? Who knows? but I'll shoot for once every other week for now, and if I get into a groove, move it up from there. The contents of the podcast will be include gaming news, writing news, and sharing experiences from my years of gaming and gamemastering.

Will I have guests? Woah, Silver. Let's get established first. Besides, I need to learn how to record Skype calls before that happens.

Anyway, this is the virtual bottle of champagne christening this ball of wax. Let's hope this ship goes somewhere!

For now, though, Power Off!